A: The little boy is so inspierd about Maurice Richard the his team wears the same jersey as him. and no i never felt that way for enyone cause i never rele think about life that way.
B: The little boy was very sad when he saw the Toronto Maple leafs sweater cause he had always worn the same jersey as Maurice Richards and same with all his friends. And no i had never had that happen to me cause my family isnt poor.
C: No i would told my dad or mom to go back and get me the one i wanted cause my
family wasent poor.And my moms word wouldnt of changed my mind cause they would got me the one i wanted.
D: There were no funny moments cause i thought this was a boring story
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
A: The little boy is so (inspierd)about Maurice Richard (the) his team wears the same jersey as him. NEW SENTENCE No, (i) never felt that way for (enyone) (because) (i) never (rele) think about life that way. (HAVE YOU EVER ADMIRED SOMEBODY FAMOUS?)
B: The little boy was very sad when he saw the Toronto Maple leafs sweater (cause) he had always worn the same jersey as Maurice (Richards) and same with all his friends. (And - TRY NOT TO START THE SENTENCE WITH AND) No, (i) had never had that happen to me cause my family isn(')t poor. (HAD WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU?)
C: No, (i) would (told) my dad or mom to go back and get me the one (i) wanted (cause) my
family (wasent) poor. (TRY TO EXPLAIN THE SITUATION SO THE READER UNDERSTANDS THE QUESTIONS)(And) My mom(')s word wouldn(')t (of) changed my mind (cause) they would (got) me the one (i) wanted.
D: There were no funny moments (cause) (i) thought this was a boring story(.)
Post a Comment